bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize