U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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