fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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