We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize