I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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