She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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