this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How does one acquire holy water?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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