Umm I'm too high to move.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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