And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize