operation have a gay friend backfired
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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