She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize