guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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