We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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