remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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