They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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