so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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