that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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