Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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