I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
