I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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