dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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