Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize