You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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