I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The maid of honor just puked.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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