The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize