this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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