the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Mom said you looked used
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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