I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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