It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize