Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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