Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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