the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so let's talk penis.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize