she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize