i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I want a musical about memes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize