I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize