I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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