Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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