i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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