i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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