i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize