he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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