Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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