Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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