I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize