And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
this hospital has no fireball
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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