I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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