You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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