I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize