Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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