I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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