I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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